've been looking for these for a very long time, and I finally found them. We came up with these many years ago, and I think they still hold-true today.  The following are 21st Century "algorithms" that modern managers can use to figure out their daily evil.

Figuring Out Who Should Be Promoted
 

function fastTrack(EmployeeClass employee, String buzzword) {
          employee.bullshitDictionary.push(buzzword);

if employee.bullshitDictionary.count >=100 {

employee.manager=true;

}

}

ere is the first in a series of "Managment Sucks" "algorithms for modern managers" (written in ActionScript!)

private function getManagerChristmasBonus(mgr:Manager,
                        employees:Array)
                        : Number 
{

  var managerBonus:Number = 5000;	

  for (var i=0; i< employees.length; i++) {
    switch (employee[i].status) {

	case FIRED:
	   managerBonus += 3000;
	   break;
	case OUTSOURCED:
	   managerbonus += 2500;
	   break;
	case LAYEDOFF:
	   managerBonus += 2000
           break;
	case ON_THE_VERGE_OF_QUITTING:	
	   managerBonus += 1500;
           break;
	case HOPES_AND_DREAMS_SHATTERED:	
	   managerBonus += 1000;
	   break;
	case SPIRIT_BROKEN:	
	   managerBonus += 500;				
	   break;
	case HAPPY_WELL_ADJUSTED_EMPLOYEE:
	   managerBonus += 100;	
	   sendHarrassingEmailAboutTimeCard(employee[i]);
	   break;			        
	}

     }

 return managerBonus + Math.random()*10000;
}

inally, a game about work. I've been looking for a good Flash game to launch the Management Sucks game repository for some time. Idea Killer from Othmar Wicke http://www.otwic.com/) is just the type of game I have been looking for. In this one you play a jaded customer of an ad agency. Your job is to reject as many proposals as possible. For some reason this one just struck me as so heartbreakingly true to life that it is in the rare "so tragic it is funny" area of comedy. Anyone who has ever tried to come-up with an idea to impress a bone-headed marketing executive should understand this one. On the other hand, any manager who has been through countless proposals from marketing agencies that seemed to have no clue about the problem you were trying to solve will feel guiltless glee at smacking down some of these clueless dolts.

Idea Killer

Are there more good work/management related games out there? If know if any, please tell us. We'll bring them to you when we find them.

like Bob Cringely, but in recent years he has rarely written about anything that I can relate to. However, his new series of I.T. related columns has really hit the mark This weeks column has, probably, the single best quote I have read aboutthe state of I.T. in the 21st Century. The best quote is bold:

K, so I actually found a place that has "Health Guards" (Protectos, ass gaskets) in Wisconsin.  However, I'm pretty sure they are new to the region. There was a was a sign above the toilet that read.

"Please keep our bathroom clean, use seat protectors"

Now, this might not seem odd at first, but read it again.  Why would using seat protector keep the bathroom "clean".  Isn't it the other way around?  Shouldn't I be keeping myself clean? What exactly do they think we are going to do with these "seat protectors?"

The mystery deepens.

'm out of town this week in Wisconsin at a web conferenceand I've noticied one glaring omission from every rest room I've visited: Protectos. Yes. There are no Ass Gaskets in Wisconsin. I suppose everyone is so healthy and germ free out here that they are not required (are they really required anyway?), but it is still seems odd...especially to this California boy.